Note: Each approach will have a worksheet you can download at the bottom of the page in case you want to get to work immediately on that approach. After all of the approaches are presented you'll be able to download a .pdf summary of all three approaches that will include all three worksheets. If you want them all together then you may skip downloading the individual worksheets.
Overview: Self-examination here looks like awareness of actual behavior and investigating the emotions and beliefs that are driving it.
When to use this approach:
1. When you don't do what you know you should do or want to do and your prevailing emotion is frustration, irritation, or self-exasperation. Example: The budget or diet that you don't stick to.
2. When it seems like you're doing everything right, but you're not getting the result you want. Example: The diet or budget you do stick to, but you're still broke and fat.
3. When you are absolutely sure that something is bad for you, but you can't seem to let it go. Example: The destructive relationship that you keep returning to and always regret.
The goal of this approach is to observe your actual choices vs. your morals or intentions; to discover the desires that are driving the actual behavior; and then to find the beliefs that are behind the desires.
The Trial of Integrity that comes most naturally to this approach is placing practical concerns like expediency, effectiveness, or convenience above the concern for the wholeness of your being. Putting practical concerns before knowledge can lead to winning now only to lose bigger later. Problems morph and reappear when they aren't truly resolved. Good self-examination with integrity will prevent us from winning the battle only to lose the war.
[Okay. Let's discuss willpower, shall we?