Where you’re most powerful—in your talent—you’re also most sensitive and vulnerable to feeling rejected.
Rejection of our best parts generally sends us one of three ways:
♦ We minimize the risk of direct rejection by subsuming our talent under the banner of another. No glory, but also no guts required.
♦ We minimize or deny our power by conforming and silencing our most valuable parts in order to be accepted.
♦ We take our insight to a safer, more accepting audience: those who agree with us to a greater degree, watering down our impact.
♦ We shut down and reject the rejection, getting louder or prideful in our “other-ness” becoming more marginalized and isolated from the appreciation and connection we crave.
Through creativity, this Stance helps you transition from all forms of rejection to connection by clarifying your message and delivery. Above all, The Ambassador is a purveyor of power. Look for your inner Irresistible Public Speaker. She elevates understanding, entices engagement, and compels choice. Never forcing or shaming, but using intriguing insight to captivate and influence.
You’re seeking to embody shrewd representation.
Some General Dos and Don’ts of This Stance
♦ Notice how hard you lean on things like beauty, charm, humor, practicality, force of personality, enthusiasm, being “different,” or your position of authority to compel others to your way of thinking. In terms of deep influence things like these amount to a come hither look. Lean on them accordingly.
♦ List your opposites. Whatever you’re for has a corresponding list of what you’re against and vice versa. Thinking in opposites can help you clarify what’s most important to you.
♦ Pay attention to the things you wish others would “get” and then ask yourself if you can make a rational justification for why they should adopt your perspective. This is most effective if you begin your reasoning with the words, “Because God…” and then build from there. Imagine objections and try to overcome those. Even if you never talk about your reasoning at the spiritual level, this exercise will still strengthen your point of view and make you more persuasive. Remember: what you represent begins as a belief. Your “I believe...because...therefore...” is bouncing off of those who reject, ignore, or minimize your point of view. You aren’t challenging their choices, but rather all of the levels of beliefs supporting their choices.
♦ Consider everything you do, wear, buy, the places you go, the way you decorate, the energy you bring to the world. What do you communicate without saying a word?
♦ Stand against your occasional inner judge that promotes counterproductive, and injurious self-chiding, self-doubt, censuring, and rebuke. If you habitually reject yourself then you’re in the wrong stance.
♦ Engage your inner counterpoise to pride: constructing a logical argument. Don’t rest in feeling special yet undervalued, get to work overcoming objections. First, construct a conversation in your mind with those who represent your pushback. Use empathy to play devil’s advocate so you can find the weak spots in your power.
♦ When you sense others shutting down to your perspective, pay attention. Lay aside your feelings about their feelings until later. What do you think they’re feeling? Why could they be feeling that way?
♦ Quickly write others off as unreachable. If they aren’t moved by your passion or point of view, first (and second and third and fourth) assume it’s because you haven’t yet given them sufficient reason to be moved. People aren’t moved by passion alone for very long. Passion intrigues and motivates consideration; it doesn’t compel adoption of ideas.
♦ Ask how others make you feel or what they can do for you. Instead, discover what others value most about themselves and then listen carefully. Being valued by others for what we value most in ourselves is a powerful connection. So give that to someone else.
♦ Compare yourself to others negatively or positively. One diminishes you and the other diminishes them. Either way you’re setting up a roadblock to real connection. Use comparison to make distinctions, not value judgments.
♦ Only focus on what you’re communicating or want to communicate. You’ll learn more about what you want to say by really listening to others than you will by talking to yourself about yourself.
♦ Be satisfied with shallow, self-focused expression. Self-expression is not primarily catharsis, but communication. Cohesive self-expression should lead the observer or consumer to consider something beyond you. Even when it’s not overt, expression is language and communication is still happening. What does your language communicate beyond, “I value this”? Name it for yourself even if you never say it explicitly to others.
The Ambassador Stance Virtue Summary. These are the character traits and virtues that you need to use and develop for successful self-expression.
The Humility of Receiving. To give you must receive. The more good you receive, the more you’ll have to give.
Poise in whatever form it naturally takes in you. Poise takes different forms. What does confident, dignified composure look like on you?
Patient Endurance. You’re a complex and developing soul. Representing all of you is the work of a lifetime.
Heroic Philanthropy: You have it. They need it. Pay the price to get it to them by developing your talent so that it's easily received.
Hospitality. Through your particular form of nurturing, captivate others, drawing them into your domain of expertise.
Courageous Idealism that Makes. Its. Case.
Modesty. True power is confident, but it isn’t vain.
This stance is focused on seeing everything as a form of communication. It’s open to engagement, play, generosity, appreciation, creativity, and experimentation.
On the other side, it’s closed to cynicism, vanity, greed, insularity, and conceit. This stance is honed-in on forging a message, whether the message includes actual words or not.
Forming a consistent and coherent message begins with identifying the tone of your talent. When you have both tone and message clarified, you’ll attract those who need it most.